I love listening to, watching and reading developmental, inspirational and motivational content because I'm always looking for that nugget. You know what I mean. That piece of information that validates an unlimiting belief that I just haven't been quite that sure about or one that I didn't really know was the truth, before. That nugget/piece of information that ultimately shifts my mind when I hear it and therefore, shifts my world. The epiphany! That is what I'm always looking for. How about you?
Anger Equals Fear
In my memoir, Battling the Flames, I share how my internal rage began and give a glimpse of it in my Introduction where it reads,
I would qualify the chapters of my life as good, but I would also qualify them as having pivotal page
turning points that were not so good, to put it mildly. Hell, quite frankly, they were shitty to the point
where I was so goddamn angry all the time.
I mean like, cheeks flushed, and hands tightly clinched in between the bundles of hair on the top of
my head with every strand taut while tasting the saltiness of my saliva as I gulped hard from the
sensation of pulling the strands out, angry (and I actually did that).
The sensation of a fiery rage burning so deep and out of control from within that I have anxiety and
doubt that I will be able to douse it from the inside out. However, also feeling that I must always
keep the fire under control.
This became who I was all the time when I was fearful of something coming from deep within based on my life experiences. Those fears even developed into more unhealthy compulsions besides pulling my hair out. I was seriously battling my flames and not always winning.
Anger is just a mask for fear. It's a way we, as people, transmute fear. So whenever we are angry, know that it's based on a fear. There is no way that we could be angry without feeling threatened. The two can't exist apart from each other.
Have you ever noticed that anger feels more powerful than fear and who doesn't want to feel powerful?! That's why we execute the mind shift. I learned that it's a way the ego strengthens itself so that it feels like it finally has a little power around this fear. This was me, and still is at times. So now I am angry and I can push my focus outside of me to an object. I can now identify who or what I want to blame for my feelings, if I choose to. The question is, what do I want to do with my fear?
Up the Ladder
Now imagine a ladder, and when we go up the ladder a step higher, we find resentment. A less dangerous form of anger. Woooo, this is a good one. I had a lot of that too. While it's milder, it is more ongoing. It can build and even permeate the day. When we jump to the highest part of the ladder, way above worry, resentment, anger, fear and death, there is spirit. There is absolute enthusiasm, there is humor, creativity, joy, and infinite energy, and that's where we want to keep allowing the shifting to take us, because when we can access that (the ultimate mind shift) problems look hilarious. Problems really look like the funniest things we could think of. They're not "real" problems anymore. They're just an adventure.
I know this is easier said or typed than done. Personally, I want to be in the "this is actually hilarious" mode as much as possible because it also signals that I don't take things personal which is what I work on all the time. Self-coaching, again, is a great strategy to deploy when our emotions are trying to get the best of us. Questions like:
"Where am I?"
"Am I down low?"
"Stuck in worry or fear?"
If so, I'm not accessing my creativity, or my greatest energy, or my imagination (those states of mind are high on top of the ladder).
Creativity doesn't live down on the lower rungs. Those are the rungs that keep me stuck. I only see yes and no, black and white, bad and good -- a narrowly critical mindset trapped in a small part of the linear left side of the brain.
But if I can shift and go! Oh man! I'll be in spirit, I'll be in creativity, I'll be in joy. Now I'll keep shifting so my life opens up. So I can expand myself into that joy I felt when I had the good childhood experiences or when I had my own children, because that was the real me. I knew it at the time.
We don't actually have to shift before we take a good action. We can take the good action in a low mood. We don't have to wait. And sometimes just getting into the game allows thoughts to drop away, and the rising up of the ladder happens on its own.
Let me tell you this mind shift is a constant effort and does happen when we allow it to. Self awareness is so important to keep mastering to know what to do when we are becoming in touch with our emotions so we can decide what we want to do with them because we have a choice to shift or stay stuck. This is part of constantly battling our (internal) flames. I know where I want to always be. What about you?
If anything I've shared resonated with you or you have blog topic recommendations, I welcome you to leave a comment below.
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