Not in My Budget
In thinking about what I wanted to blog about this week, I didn't know what to write until I was on the treadmill this morning and I heard something my instructor said that resonated with me and then I knew my focus for this week. Yay! She was talking about how she learned about a conversation that involved someone being invited to an expensive restaurant. The inviter said they would let the other person borrow the money when the invitee said it wasn't in her budget. The invitee then responded by saying it's not in her energy budget. BOOM! That response hit me like WHOA! So, let's talk about budgets, shall we?!
Your Budget Plan Doesn't Always Have to be About Money
When I first learned about budget plans, I understood it to be the planning of one's spending. Yes, that makes sense but what if budget was more than about finances and spending of income earned? What if I gave budget planning other meanings? What would that do for my life? Wow! Definitely something to ponder. What if it involved how I spent my energy? Hmm...DEEP! You ever feel really depleted, just like your funds/bank account, when you spend too much energy on certain activities and/or people? Do you ever feel mentally or physically exhausted after that activity or interaction? Like you need a nap? Versus, activities or interactions that give you energy? How do you feel after those? Happy, energized, filled up, like a cup? Which one would you prefer? I know I want to engage and do things that give me energy, not take it away so I should be really mindful about how I plan my budget of energy, right?! Right! I liken this to what I work with my health coaching clients on. I have them do an exercise for a week by noticing what foods give them energy and what foods take away their energy and write this down so they can see where they can focus more...on the foods that give them energy.
Now back to people. If I feel upset or negative after several interactions with a person to where a theme is formed because, face it, we all have some bad days and that's okay, but if it's a pattern of bad days, now my budget (energy) is being depleted by someone who is very negative/toxic. What this should be telling me is that I need to really think hard about whether or not they fit into my plan. Are they really worth the energy I'm putting into them because of how it's leaving me feeling? My circle of people I hang around with; are they sucking the life (energy) out of me, stressing me out, or are they lifting me up? If the answer is yes to either the first or second, then I need to start evicting from my circle. I'm glad to say that is no longer the case and let me share why I say that is no longer.
I will share a brief story with you. I was briefly dating someone and after awhile, I noticed a change in my body that was not healthy because the gift of an old compulsion reared its ugly head again after interacting with this person for some time. I'm going to be straight with you. They were an A-whole and had admitted it several times, but I tried to brush off some of the behaviors I was observing. There were certain mindsets/activities and egocentric behaviors coming from this person that clearly just did not sit well with my body. They were toxic to me, mentally and physically. I literally lost energy when I was around them because my body was in fight mode because of the stress this person was causing me. I got to a point where I stopped ignoring my body and let that person go. Had I set some boundaries and a plan that involved what I would allow into my life in the way of energy and what I would not allow so that it would not take away my energy, and instead add stress, I wouldn't have interacted with this person as long as I did. I had never been more relieved in my mind, body and soul than when I stopped talking to that person. OMG! Thank you, Jesus!
Not only energy but time should also be a part of our budgeted plans. How much time are we giving when we choose to do something, including spending time with others? Are they worthy of our time as well as our energy? What do we value that we want to hold on to and what does not serve us that we don't want to hold or any longer? These are all important aspects that we have to factor into our budgeted plan so that when a situation comes up, we know how we will respond without a second thought. When we are at the point where we know with only .00001 percent that something is not going to serve our good and therefore, we say no to some thing or someone, and yes to our peace and honor our budgeted plan, now we are where we truly want to be for a healthy and happy mind, body and soul.
So, the next time you are considering doing something on your own or via an invitation, consider whether or not it fits into your budget and if the answer is no, then simply say, "no, it's not in my budget" and wait for their response so that you can enlighten them on what you mean, if they dare ask and you so boldly explain! I know I'm going to practice this when I need to...for my good!
If what I've shared resonated with you or you have blog topic recommendations, then I welcome you to leave a comment below or reach out to me for a free consultation to get help in an area of your life or a change/transformation you want to begin next year!
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